Prince Charles & Sardarji

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

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Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

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Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ? How much is DRIVING salary...?

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Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

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Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend "u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office...."

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Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...."
Finally he wrote the conclusion.. .... ......
"after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

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A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ......

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A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay and it read:
AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..

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Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..

Sardarji At Best

Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.
Fets stabbed in a shoot-out.
Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
Tries to drown a fish in water.
Thinks socialism means partying.
Trips over a cordless phone.
Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius.".
Studies for a blood test and fails.
Sells the car for gas money.
Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.
Gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

Sardar Classics

Srdr: I haven't slept all night in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y didn't u Exchange?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
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A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
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Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
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Teacher: "I killed a person" ! convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
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Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
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Sardarji was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
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Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
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Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
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Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
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A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok!
We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
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Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like all d passengers in d car he was driving..
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Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
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Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
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Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
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A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
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Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we find some problems which I want to bring to your notice. After connecting to internet we plan to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in password column only ****** comes, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed comes, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password ***** but I request you to check this as ourselves we do not know what is the password.

We are unable to enter anything after we clic k the shut down button. There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button.We request you to check this. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar. So, we request you to change that to sit so that we can click that by sitting.One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.Also there is 'find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to trace.

Is it a bug??

Sardar Jokes

Nurse was walking with one of her boobs hanging out of dress.
Doctor saw & asked her.
She replied that wardboys never keep anything in place after USE.

Sex is like a restaurant,sometimes u get full service,sometimes out of service,n sometimes u have to be satisfied with self-service.

Billgates got married 18 years old girl,Next day journalist asked the girl abt her first night.
she replied politely and sadly, it was micro & soft.

who's Arjun's mother?she gives 4.5% milk to arjun.
who's Arjuns father?he drinks 95.5% milk form arjun's mother.

Once an Aeroplane asked a Rocket,how r u managing to fly such a fantastic speed always.
Rocket replied:If ur Ass is on fire then u will know.

He:Can i touch ur software?
She:show me ur hardware?
He:Can i download in ur system?
she:use virus protection,ur prgm may have HIV virus!.

A soldier got married on first night he realised wife having periods.
He sent telegram to HQ:Red alart on front,extend leave.
Reply from HQ:Attack from Back.

Women being raped.Call to the police over the phone & say "hellooh,oooh! isss!,ah! uoah! this man raping me.aah! yes,can
u come and arrest him after an hour.

Girl:mom,John gave me Rs 10 to clim the Coconut tree.
Mom:Idiot,he fooled u ,he wanted to see ur pantie.
Girl:I am smart,i didn't wear it at all(!)...

A dog was chasing a sardar and he was laughing,
Another sardar:why r u laughing?
sardar:I have a aircell phone but still Hutch network is following me.